The dangers of putting too much weight on a 'night in'

Our Focus Mode feature, plus the science behind looking for beauty.

Onward Weekly

Onward Team

October 6, 2026

We talk a lot about 'rest' time here but the inverse of too much 'rest'—blocking out multiple nights a week because we're tired from work—is a bit of a slippery slope. We'll start by saying: rest is critical and listening to your body is everything. But sometimes, we put too much weight on a night in, even if we've already had 3 this week.

I've been reminded of a vital truth the last few weeks: even though work has been busy and stressful, the day after carving out some time with friends, I feel energized and happy in a way no Netflix special or comfort movie could've provided.

We often think of socializing as something that spends our battery. But when you make space for the people you truly love—while still maintaining your personal boundaries—it doesn't drain your battery. It charges it. Introverts, extroverts. It doesn't matter. Prioritizing quality time where you're able to be super present with a close friend, family member, partner is everything.

Bite-sized knowledge

Social Baseline Theory

In behavioral psychology, Social Baseline Theory (developed by Dr. James Coan) suggests that the human brain is wired to expect social proximity. When we are alone, our brain perceives the world as more difficult and stressful, meaning it has to burn more cognitive energy just to maintain baseline functioning.

When we are connected to loved ones, our brain literally outsources some of its emotional regulation. Studies show that when people are holding hands with someone they trust, their brain registers a lower threat response to stress. Connection doesn't just feel good; it physically reduces the cognitive cost of living, leaving you with more bandwidth for your work and your life.

Give this a try

The Low-Friction Hangout

If you are feeling overworked, don't plan a massive dinner party or a late night out. Just lower the friction of connection.

Tell them upfront, "I'm pretty fried from work so I only have an hour, but I'd love to see you."

New In Onward

Calendar Update

Link your Google Calendar—as many as you'd like—so you can see the gaps in your schedule and plan to meet with friends, family, and partners.

We're working on more integrations all the time—drop us a line and let us know which you'd like us to focus on!

Social time boosts overall energy!

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